If I Could Get Married Like This

Last nite saw sum1 posted a link on facebook
so i click on it n hv a look
wow,wat an amazing video

the video is about a couple wedding entrance to the church
damn creative and full of joy
bring lotsa smile in me

here i wanna share it wit u guys
after watching it,some ppl r thinking to copy it on the wedding day,hehe
mayb sumday when i get married,i might try sumting like this
fingers crossed

the video was just released like a week bck n it has over 7millions+ hits
omg,goes to show ppl love this video
i had watched it like more than 4times
the popular video on youtube made headlines on some countries

This is Why Rihanna Got Beaten By Chris Brown

I bet by now u all must have heard tht Chris Brown beat Rihanna back in february 2009
it was so bad tht rihanna has got to postpone her concert in kl until further notice

i for 1 was disappointed not to be able to go c her concert,almost wanted to buy the tickets oni to read the news the very morning she was assaulted,phew

anyway here is why she got beaten
can't agree more

Koreans Love Singing Karaoke

It's been 3months since i last blogged
at times kinda blank on wat to post n kinda bz wit training

woke up n sumting hit me to post sumting here
do u know tht koreans love to sing
to prove it,i m goin 2 show u a few videos of the talented konglish doing their thing

they love mariah carey a lot
serious shit

Great Way To Stop Smoking

a fren 4wrded this funny email 2 me
so took the picture of it n paste it here
hehe

this is a superb way to stop more men from smoking
out govt shud consider implementing it


but this might attract more women to smoke
shit

Crazy Woman Misses Her Flight In HK

Saw an interesting youtube video recommended by a blogger
the title of it as per my heading
caught my attention,there4 i m curious to hv a look at it

this happened in hk airport recently
u wud go lol watching the woman goin nuts since did not managed to board the aircraft

the video has been a popular hit in youtube ever since
dun blive check it out urself

it has english subtitle on it in case u dunno cantonese
good work by the person who uploaded the video

Sex Calories

As always my email bro Kok How sent an amazing mail few days bck
i just can't stop laughing reading it

here it goes
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CALORIES BURNED DURING SEX!

REMOVING HER CLOTHES:
With her consent 12 Calories (if it is ur 1st time)
Without her consent 2,187 Calories (when ur hormones r raging,just do it)

OPENING HER BRA:
With both hands 8 Calories (typical,take ur time)
With one hand 12 Calories (unless u r louis koo,hehe)
With your teeth 485 Calories (nvr tried n not planning to)

PUTTING ON A CONDOM:
With an erection 6 Calories (any dick n harry will sing karaoke)
Without an erection 3,315 Calories (unless the fella got ED)

POSITIONS:
Missionary 12 Calories (the most common n easy)
69 lying down 78 Calories (win-win position,i like)
69 standing up 812 Calories (2 hard to execute,hehe)
Wheelbarrow 216 Calories (need a strong women 2 do it,recommended)
Doggy Style 326 Calories (yeah,spank me boy)
Italian chandelier 2,912 Calories (italian women loves it)

ORGASMS:
Real 112 Calories (short term fun)
Fake 1,315 Calories (can sum1 teach me)

POST ORGASM:
Lying in bed hugging 18 Calories (very ideal 2 close the deal)
Getting up immediately 36 Calories (yeah,after hugging n cuddling)
Explaining why you got out of bed immediately 816 Calories (fuck it,no need 2 explain)

GETTING A SECOND ERECTION:
If you are:
20-29 years 36 Calories (mentally can,but physically ...susah la)
30-39 years 80 Calories (erm unless take another pill)
40-49 years 124 Calories (shud b ok i guess 4 these uncles)
50-59 years 1,972 Calories (unsure abt this,better ask ur father)
60-69 years 7,916 Calories (i hv no idea if they still can physically do it)
70 and over Results are still pending (need to ask Hugh Hefner for this)

DRESSING AFTERWARDS:
Calmly.. 32 Calories (no prob 2 all alpha males)
In a hurry 98 Calories (no need 2 b in a rush)
With her father knocking at the door 5,218 Calories (better rush)
With your wife knocking at the door 13,521 Calories (omg,either kill ur wife,the gurl or urself)
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so now u know
better start arranging your checklist

My Wedding Invitation

I m getting married 2 my new gf soon
there4 my mom has prepared this invitation card 4 all the invited guest

Click 2 view the details

i m thankful 2 b married 2 some1 i love
finally i found u n u found me

hope u all will attend 2 celebrate my 'Big Day'
thank u all

The wedding

Wat If Maths & Science in BM

Got an email from my as usual fren,Kok How
well this is worth sharing

wat if v change maths n science bck to BM
the result is this
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Why Malaysian Government insists on using English for math and science?
This is because the whole world uses the language as an information and/or technology language. How dangerous it will be if we try to use Bahasa, especially in school. See example below:-

Hardware = barangkeras
Software = baranglembut
Joystick = batang gembira
Plug andPlay = cucuk dan main
Port = lubang
Server = pelayan
Client = pelanggan

Try to translate this:
ENGLISH:
That server gives a plug and play service to the client using either hardware or software joystick. The joystick goes into the port of the client.

Now in BAHASA:
Pelayan itu memberi pelanggannya layanan cucuk dan main dengan menggunakan batang gembira jenis keras atau lembut. Batang gembira itu akan dimasukkan ke dalam lubang pelanggan.

Now you know...WHY...

Horlick + Milo + Kopi + Teh ?

My mom just told me a freaking crazy joke
i was like omg when she said it

ok,it goes like this

Mom : Kit,when u go 2 yum cha,wat do u called when u wanna drink a mix of Nescafe & Milo
Me:Neslo lo
Mom : Ok,how abt Nescafe & Teh
Me : Erm,.....
Mom : Nestea lo

Mom : then wat u called horlick + milo + kopi + teh
Me : I dunno lo ma
Mom : Lickmikoteh (horlick + milo + kopi + teh)

aka - suck my dick
hehe

I love u ma,u r the best

I Love Adult Jokes

i hv always love adult jokes
it just brings a smile in me

i hope this few jokes can brighten up ur day
hehe

1) Sex Communication

Two deaf people get married and during the first week of marriage they find that they are unable to communicate in the bedroom with the lights out since they can't see each other signing, or lips to lip-read. After several nights of fumbling around and many misunderstandings, the wife figures out a solution. "Honey, why don't we agree on some simple signals? For instance, at night, if you want to have sex with me, reach over and squeeze my left breast one time. If you don't want to have sex, reach over and squeeze my right breast two times." The husband thinks this is a great idea. He suggests to his wife if she wants to have sex with him, reach over and pull on his penis one time. If she doesn't want to have sex, pull on his penis two hundred and fifty times
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2) Horny Superman

One day Superman was feeling a bit horny. So, he began to ask his super hero friends for ideas on where he could get a bit of action. "Hey Batman! Who's good in the sack?" "Well Superman, everyone knows that Wonder Woman is the best sex in Comicland. Why don't you try her?" replied Batman. "I'd love to, but Wonder Woman and I are friends. So I don't really want to take advantage of her." "Damn shame," said Batman as he waved goodbye to Superman and drove off. Ten minutes later Superman was flying low over a city when he saw the Green Lantern patching up a building. He flew down. "Hey GL, I'm looking for a little action. You're a swinging bachelor, who's the best babe in Comicland?" "Hey, Superman! Everyone knows that Wonder Woman is far and away the best lay in Comicland, why don't you try her?" "Well, we're sort of friends," Superman said, "but I didn't realize she had gotten around so much" and he flew off in frustration. Twenty minutes later Superman was flying over a field when he saw Wonder Woman lying naked, in the middle of the field, with her legs apart and up in the air. Superman was tempted. He thought to himself, "I'm faster than a speeding bullet, I can be in and out of there before she even knows I'm here." So with a blur and a sonic boom he was down, in and gone. Wonder Woman stared up into the sky with a dazed __expression. "What the hell was that??" she exclaimed. "I don't know," said the Invisible Man as he rolled off, "but my ass is killing me
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3) Menu

A waitress walks up to one of her tables in a New York City restaurant and notices that the three Japanese businessmen seated there are furiously masturbating.She says, "What the hell do you guys think you're doing?"One of the Japanese men says, "We are all berry hungry."The waitress says, "So how is whacking off in this restaurant going to help that situation?"Another businessman replies, "Because menu say, first come first served."
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4) How many men???

A shy, drunken, innocent young man walked up to a beautiful young woman in a pub and said: "Do you mind if I ask you a personal question?" "Yes I do," replied the beautiful young woman, "But go ahead, as I'm sure you're going to ask me anyway." "OK," said the shy, drunken, innocent young man, "How many men have you slept with?" "That's my business!" snapped the woman. "Oh, right!" said the bloke, "I didn't realize you made a living out of it!

OMG Pickup Lines

Here i hv compiled my top 10 pickup lines i found on the net
they comprised from flattering to seriously dirty lines

this might get u into nice flirty moments or serious trouble wit gurls
'risk n get nothing or risk n hv everything'
take the risk i suggest,hehe

1) Nice legs, what time do they open?
(oni 4 the brave hearts 2 pull this off,i seriously think if it is done in a charming way can really break the ice)

2) What time do you have to be back in heaven?
(erm,interesting line.i shud try it out soon)

3) I'm an organ donor, and I have an organ you might need
(omg,this is ridiculous,i bet the gurl will go &*@^#)

4) Say "I bet I can kiss you on the lips without touching you." and kiss her, then tell her you lost the bet.
(takes lotsa courage 2 say it ,do it when she is kinda tipsy - i wud love 2 try it,hehe)

5) I've noticed you noticing me and I'm just giving you notice that I've noticed you
(kinda lame but might turn out to be funny)

6) I lost my teddy bear, will you sleep with me?
(this is my favourite,i seriously gonna use it)

7) You make me wish I weren't gay!
(hehe,i dunno wat to say,some gurls love 2 hv gay frens)

8) Was your father an alien? Because there's nothing else like you on earth!
(lol,oni 4 gurls u r really into i think)

9) My dick just died. Would you mind if I buried it in your ass?
(a nvr ever line 2 use unless u r really a dickhead.hehe)

10) You're so beautiful that you made me forget my pickup line
(i cannot tahan but in awe of this simple but true fact)

check out this funny video on pickup lines

Benefits of Being Single

Wanna write down the good things abt being single
i love the feeling of roaming free........again

here r the top 10 benefits

1) You can flirt/f*ck as u please
No stopping u from being like a casanova
u won't b hearing her jealous voice telling u this gurl is this n tht
fuck it,v r guys.v hv raging hormones that cannot b control
dun control us,v like to know gurls
hving a gf always hamper u from knowing more gurls
cos the bitch always feeling insecure,u can fuck off

2) You can be your own boss
Complaining to us football is boring.damn,football is like the greatest game on earth
u know nothing abt balls
Do watever u want without hving to compromise wit her
hving her nagging voice ard is troublesome
u r ur own CEO,u can go to any spa,papaya farm n club without worrying

3) You can focus on your career
One little less problem,means little less headache
no need 2 go find her,entertain her,sweet talk her
more time to concentrate on your studies or work
oso more time to sleep,hehe

4) You can be spontaneous
You can have more time doin things u like n trying sumting new
joining your buddies playing futsal,hving a drink wit frens,watching movies with ur female frens
Checking out hot gurls n gossiping,talking bad stuff abt the xgf u went out wit.hehe
stop telling us will u still love me if i m fat or ugly?thank GOD my misery is over
v dun like commitments,so stop telling us 2 commit or be wit u 4ever

5) You dun need to deal with her habits anymore
Her annoying habits of goin out on weekend to show off herself even though u r not in the mood
her green monster head rearing out everytime she sees u having a look at other hot chicks
Her ever so mah fan shopping time,phew.pls la
can sleep peacefully without sharing the same bed n hving wet dreams thinking abt some pornstars
no need to go visit her hometown when u dun like goin,but 4 the sake of teman her
no more bullshit from her

6) You have more time for activities
can spend more time watching the drama u love like prison break,entourage (i love it),heroes
n even some porns
sleep more without hv to answer one of her call to go meet her bcos she is bored or watever shit
hv more time to spend wit your frens as hving gf is like hving a little queen who tells u wat to do n act like a royalty,must oni serve her.solee la

7) You can control your finances
you can hv more money to spend on yourself
love yourself more cos this is wat u r born to do
no more the times u hv to belanja her,fork out the hard earned money 2 please her,go atm tekan tekan until left two digit or hv a hole in ur wallet
say no more to that
wit the money fully yours,do watever u like
spent a little on other girls who r interested 2 go on a date wit u,hehe
no need to call or sms her,save lotsa ur money.waste our time oni

8) You can appreciate your independence
Being single makes u be more independant n learn more surviving skills (eg cooking)
gurls who sees guys that r independant are a good thing cos they r not desperate or needy
learn more stuff to improve urself so that ur "saham naik" n can fish a salmon instead of an ikan bilis

9) You can gain weight without worrying
eat all you want w/o hearing her voice this cannot n that cannot eat.fuck it
v live to eat n not eat to live,ok?
hving one less meal to feed her,eat her part as well.hehe
feel a little better no need 2 think wat to eat 2gether but wat u wanna eat,yeah

10) You don't have to tolerate moodiness & nagging
Seeing her face every now n then,makes u wanna leave the place n see an ugly gurl for a fresh start
no more her calling u asking do u miss me or love me.omg,wat kinda questions u want us 2 answer u.v just reluctanly say ya
dun kacau us,v love ourself more than u

i guess all this reasons justify not hving a gf does not mean the end of the world 4 us
V can live w/o you n so much happier

Virgin,Tag Team Sex & Virgin Again

Bumped into some really weird n bizarre news

the 1st one is abt this old old british lady,she is 105 years old this weekend n said the secret to her longevity lies in no sex.yeah,u heard me no fucking n sucking
she has never had sex because she was "too busy" for intimate relationships which seemed like "a lot of hassle"
gotta say not doin it in her life is like a misuse of what GOD gave a pussy to her
wonder if that cud b listed in the Guiness Book of Records as The Oldest Virgin,wat u think?

This is how she looks,still virgin

Up next is simply terrifying news abt this mother 38 n daughter 22 eccentric tag team job
both of them r prostitutes n put their price at $200 (ard RM 640+) for multiple sex acts (oo la la)
sumhow their disgraceful action prompted police to go undercover n subscribe for the threesome fun.2 bad the gurls dunno the dick they r abt to suck is a big "dick" (police la),kena tangkap in the end
cannot believe a mother wud let her daughter sell herself in return for some quick cash.damn,this is really the worst mom ever
2 those men who fucked them both,i really hv no respect for u at all
how can you blow a mother n a daughter at the same time,sumbody pls enlighten me,hehe
previously both of them worked as strippers in a club but was closed down later
so they resort to this "smart" move since r tight in money
Fuck 1 Free 1

Look at their marketing brochures,oni 'serious' ppl to call

the last 1 is kinda funny n a little sad,this 1 happened in france
the funny part was a bridegroom annulled (sumting like divorce if u dunno) his marriage when he found out his soon to be wife is not virgin,hehe
the couple r of muslim religion,there4 no sex b4 marriage 4 the gurl
it is a pre-requisite b4 a guy marries the gurl
the gurl lied to the guy n said she was a virgin when they r to marry
mana tahu,the guy smells a little fishy abt her confession
rahsia terbongkar,the sad part is the gurl will b finding it hard 2 get married 2 other men cos her pussy is not valid anymore.hehe

Lesson learnt : Always tell the truth abt ur virginity.hehe

When Kids Sing

Need some laugh,n these little kids gave me more than i asked for
u will b thrilled by their singing ability and fall in love with them

This is the best
This little boy singing Flo Rida - Low song


Locking himself singing Britney Spears - Hit Me Baby One More Time
remember to watch until finish


Very innocent singing Black Eyed Peas - My Humps
Love it when this kid says "no no no drama"

I Love Kids

Another wonderful email from my fren,Kok How
this fella, his duty is like sending his frens n me all the emails he got

definitely this is worth sharing
it just goes 2 show that kids are the most lovely ppl in the world
they can just effortlessly make us laugh,filled us with joy, instantly setting us on somber mood and best of all they teach us love,real love

that's y i love kids

Goes to show being a kid doesn't hamper one from surfing the Internet

This little boy is wondering y his 1 is different,so he does a little homework

Sweet sweet couple

Learning to be a man,real man at a young age

Practising a routine pee

Showing some love to her fren

I love the look on the kid face,priceless.Dad is imparting life's abc

Learning 2 shoot on the wall

I wud b so proud of my son if he does that

101 Basic 'Negotiation' Skills by a Handphone Guy

just bumped into this video again after a long time
the last time (mayb 2years ago) i saw it wasn't so clear

now after seeing it again,i kinda laugh out loud
really funny stuff
it goes to show in m'sia u need some basic "negotiation" skills to escape being ticket by the policemen

afterall,v r all living in the Boleh-Land
so anything can b settle
watch n learn my fren



listen carefully between 2:27 - 2:31 (the best part)

love this comment by this fella in youtube:-->>
~~ Um, the guy shouldn't start with RM50, he should start small. It used to, I'd start with 5 dollar, then they would take 20. This is part of the tactic negotiation. Think of them as a beggar, they would settle at 10. Just remember they are here to beg, not to protect, then you'll be fine. For the folks who think the guy should just pay 300, it doesn't work that way, because when you go to pay your fine, the 300 is still going to the ppl who work there.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

i salute u the handphone guy
Remember wat the police said in the last conversation
Police: Lain Kali Jangan Buat Lagi, yeh

Best Selling Ice Cream in Japan

my fren just sent an e-mail abt the best selling ice-cream in Japan

when i opened n looked at the pic,i was like ......... wow
no wonder so many Japanese ppl buy and indulge it

makes u wanna ...... buy 1 (lick n taste it)

mayb v can franchise it here.hehe
many m'sian wud jump at the chance 2 buy it n ....u know wat la
taste it

In-Flight Jokes

Occasionally, airline attendants make an effort to make the "in-flight
safety lecture" and their other announcements a bit more entertaining.
Here are some real examples that have been heard or reported:

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

"There may be 50 ways to leave your lover, but there are only 4 ways out
of this airplane..."

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

"Your seat cushions can be used for flotation, and in the event of an
emergency water landing, please take them with our compliments."

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

"We do feature a smoking section on this flight; if you must smoke,
contact a member of the flight crew and we will escort you to the wing of
the airplane."

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

And, after landing: "Thank you for flying Delta Business Express. We hope
you enjoyed giving us the business as much as we enjoyed taking you for a
ride."

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Once on a Southwest flight, the pilot said, "We've reached our cruising
altitude now, and I'm turning off the seat belt sign. I'm
switching to autopilot, too, so I can come back there and visit with all
of you for the rest of the flight."

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

"Should the cabin lose pressure, oxygen masks will drop from the
overhead area. Please place the bag over your own mouth and nose before
assisting children or adults acting like children."

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

"As you exit the plane, please make sure to sure to gather all of
your belongings. Anything left behind will be distributed evenly
among the flight attendants. Please do not leave children or spouses."

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Heard on Southwest Airlines just after a very hard landing in Salt Lake
City: The flight attendant came on the intercom and said, "That was quite
a bump and I know what ya'll are thinking. I'm here to tell you it wasn't
the airline's fault, it wasn't the pilot's fault, it wasn't the flight
attendants' fault.....it was the asphalt!"

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Overheard on an American Airlines flight into Amarillo, Texas, on a
particularly windy and bumpy day. During the final approach the Captain
was really having to fight it. After an extremely hard landing, the
Flight Attendant came on the PA and announced, "Ladies and Gentlemen,
welcome to Amarillo. Please remain in your seats with your seatbelts
fastened while the Captain taxis what's left of our airplane to the gate!"

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Weather at our destination is 50 degrees with some broken clouds, but
they'll try to have them fixed before we arrive. Thank you, and remember,
nobody loves you, or your money, more than Southwest Airlines."

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

An airline pilot wrote that on this particular flight he had
hammered his ship into the runway really hard. The airline had a policy
which required the first officer to stand at the door while the passengers
exited, smile, and give them a "Thanks for flying XYZ airline." He said
that in light of his bad landing, he had a hard time looking the
passengers in the eye, thinking that someone would have a smart comment.
Finally everyone had gotten off except for this little old lady walking
with a cane. She said, "Sonny, mind if I ask you a question?" "Why no
Ma'am," said the pilot, "what is it?" The little old lady said, "Did we
land or were we shot down?"

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Part of a Flight Attendant's arrival announcement:
"We'd like to thank you folks for flying with us today. And, the
next time you get the insane urge to go blasting through the skies in a
pressurized metal tube, we hope you'll think of us here at USAirways."

13year old boy hiring escorts(ayam)

just come across this news abt a young boy hiring escorts.really hebat
gotta salute you my fren.hehe
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"A 13 year old boy from Texas is convicted of fraud after using his Father's credit cards to hire escorts."

A 13 year old from Texas who stole his Dad's credit card and ordered two hookers from an escort agency, has today been convicted of fraud and given a three year community order.

Ralph Hardy, a 13 year old from Newark, Texas confessed to ordering an extra credit card from his father's existing credit card company, and took his friends on a $30,000 spending spree, culminating in playing "Halo" on an Xbox with a couple of hookers in a Texas motel.

The credit card company involved said it was regular practice to send extra credit cards out as long as all security questions are answered.

The escort girls who were released without charge, told the arresting officers something was up when the kids said they would rather play Xbox than get down to business.

Police said they were alerted to the motel by a concerned delivery clerk, whom after delivering supplies of Dr Pepper, Fritos and Oreos had been asked by the kids where they could score some chicks and were willing to pay. They explained they had just made a big score at a "World of Warcraft" tournament and wanted to get some relaxation. On noting the boys age the delivery clerk informed the authorities.

When police arrived at the motel they found $3,000 in cash, numerous electronic gadgets, an Xbox video console with numerous games, and the two local escort girls.

Ralph had reportedly told police that his father wouldn't mind, as it was his birthday last week and he had forgot to get him a present. The father, a lawyer said he had been too busy, but would take him on a surprise trip to Disneyland instead.

Asked why he ordered two escorts, Ralph said he thought it was the thing to do when you win a "World of Warcraft" tournament. They told the suspicious working girls they were people of restricted growth working with a traveling circus, and as State law does not allow those with disabilities to be discriminated against they had no right to refuse them.

The $1,000 a night girls sensing something up played "Halo" on the Xbox with the kids, instead of selling their sexual services.

Ralph's ambition is to one day become a politician.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
this boy is my hero.hehe.