I Love Adult Jokes

i hv always love adult jokes
it just brings a smile in me

i hope this few jokes can brighten up ur day
hehe

1) Sex Communication

Two deaf people get married and during the first week of marriage they find that they are unable to communicate in the bedroom with the lights out since they can't see each other signing, or lips to lip-read. After several nights of fumbling around and many misunderstandings, the wife figures out a solution. "Honey, why don't we agree on some simple signals? For instance, at night, if you want to have sex with me, reach over and squeeze my left breast one time. If you don't want to have sex, reach over and squeeze my right breast two times." The husband thinks this is a great idea. He suggests to his wife if she wants to have sex with him, reach over and pull on his penis one time. If she doesn't want to have sex, pull on his penis two hundred and fifty times
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2) Horny Superman

One day Superman was feeling a bit horny. So, he began to ask his super hero friends for ideas on where he could get a bit of action. "Hey Batman! Who's good in the sack?" "Well Superman, everyone knows that Wonder Woman is the best sex in Comicland. Why don't you try her?" replied Batman. "I'd love to, but Wonder Woman and I are friends. So I don't really want to take advantage of her." "Damn shame," said Batman as he waved goodbye to Superman and drove off. Ten minutes later Superman was flying low over a city when he saw the Green Lantern patching up a building. He flew down. "Hey GL, I'm looking for a little action. You're a swinging bachelor, who's the best babe in Comicland?" "Hey, Superman! Everyone knows that Wonder Woman is far and away the best lay in Comicland, why don't you try her?" "Well, we're sort of friends," Superman said, "but I didn't realize she had gotten around so much" and he flew off in frustration. Twenty minutes later Superman was flying over a field when he saw Wonder Woman lying naked, in the middle of the field, with her legs apart and up in the air. Superman was tempted. He thought to himself, "I'm faster than a speeding bullet, I can be in and out of there before she even knows I'm here." So with a blur and a sonic boom he was down, in and gone. Wonder Woman stared up into the sky with a dazed __expression. "What the hell was that??" she exclaimed. "I don't know," said the Invisible Man as he rolled off, "but my ass is killing me
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3) Menu

A waitress walks up to one of her tables in a New York City restaurant and notices that the three Japanese businessmen seated there are furiously masturbating.She says, "What the hell do you guys think you're doing?"One of the Japanese men says, "We are all berry hungry."The waitress says, "So how is whacking off in this restaurant going to help that situation?"Another businessman replies, "Because menu say, first come first served."
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4) How many men???

A shy, drunken, innocent young man walked up to a beautiful young woman in a pub and said: "Do you mind if I ask you a personal question?" "Yes I do," replied the beautiful young woman, "But go ahead, as I'm sure you're going to ask me anyway." "OK," said the shy, drunken, innocent young man, "How many men have you slept with?" "That's my business!" snapped the woman. "Oh, right!" said the bloke, "I didn't realize you made a living out of it!